There is something soothing after having a traumatic morning with the cable people, pulling out the rent money (money going out and only student loans coming in....) about being irresponsible (ignoring my dissertation for the day- I'll hit send later tonight on the crappy version of it and hate myself in the morning for it I am sure) and just plain old knitting for the day.
Knitting a simple stockinette sock, that I can knit while I play on the internet again and watch my life flow into the pot of "lost time." A simple sock in pretty hand dyed yarn I bought in a previous and paid life form. I am now realizing that I really wish I would have used the yarn ($10 a skein on sale) to make a nifty kind of sock. Maybe one of those patterned ones that would have shown off the coloring more. But then that might not be soothing and if I am going to be reemed by the internet guy with no warning I am going to stay- use my internet and knit, and I need to be soothed.
So today I sit on the sofa, listening to the saxaphone player on the place, with my water bottle and chips (cause I am in hermit junk food mode, I haven't gotten to the grocery store for real food in the past three days), the TV on in the background (cause a jitterygirl such as myself needs lots of stimuli, and has an irrational fear of silence) and I knit as I learn how to FTP and as I try to play with some MT things...
And as I knit, I realize I am going to finish my sock today. I am doing toe decreases and they are going faster and faster and faster around. My hands are somewhat thankful as after knitting for an hour and half with no break when they haven't done more than two rounds a day for I don't know how long- they tell me that they know what I am doing and I am going be feeling it.
Even more I realize that I have nothing else on the backburner. So I need to start thinking... who am I kidding I need to start deciding. Guess tomorrow is a trip to the Bon Marche to get things I can't afford and start something new.
There is something to be said for removing the pressure, curling under the blanket, and knitting a soothing repetitive pattern, while I hope for a better tomorrow to go with the sunshine that is streaming in my window and the Geranium that is recovering.
Posted by Stinkerbell at September 15, 2004 04:26 PM | TrackBack