Fidgety Knitting

Reason 85,469,783 Why Tink Should Not Be In Power

Hi Y’all I gots a French government email now!!!!! I have a gouv.fr email everyone. Yeah umm I am digging that. The Ministère of Etrangeness as one of my friends called it, has decided my half Yankee and half Latina derrière is good enough to campaign for Europe. And that is what I am doing! I might even get to travel some in France for it on the gouvernements dime.

Even better, last Friday I was defeated and infuriated. The consulate man who I spoke with months ago had decided to be a bureaucratic flippant little asshat and switch his position. Instead of processing my visa by mail he wanted me to submit for an in-person (Atlanta) Consulate "interview." As you might guess I BLEW my gasket. He had previously said I didn’t have to- they ARE NOT REQUIRED, so plans were arranged on that premise. Also because I had this whole Etrangeness thing that I kinda needed a Visa for. But most of all because he went on to threaten me... "but Miss you are in France illegally I am closing my eyes I could report you to the government (never mind the fact that I am not here illegally and told him that repeatedly)." Yes I fear the French government, people I FEAR them. HAHAHAHA. I don’t do well with threats- don’t bluff either. My philosophy is do it or don’t. That kind of smack talk just doesn’t go over well Chez Tink.

Well fast forward to Tuesday and I am the Ministère and explaining my story to my bosses boss, who is very non-hierarchical (and now adores me). He introduces himself, my bosses assistant tells him I have an issue. Just AN issue people? Why you gotta be so stingy?? He asks and I run through the whole deal (he falls in love with me for my Yankee way of saying Atlanta- AT not AHHHT. Took him three times to get where I was talking about, oh the Olympics Coca Cola place. Yeah there...) and I give him the whole deal. He says well you write it up and give me all the information and I will email about it, we should be able to fix this situation. I think I love him; yes that consulate twat is going to get an email from him who reports to M. Minister himself, directly :)

And my inner voices commences in a VERY loud voice: That’s right, you want to play who is the bigger bitch, you better bring a bigger stick. Take that BITCH!!! HUP TO and process my Visa NOW *WHAP* That is right you're MY bitch.

And that my friends is the reason I should not be in power, let alone diplomatie. Everyone becomes my bitch and I start swaggering around. In a pretty skirt.

Reason 894756821 Tink Does Not Have A Credit Card
In my delusions of having the financial wherewithall to live here and attempting to “treat” myself, I went to the Bon Marché. Yarn was on sale, how am I supposed to resist?? Good yarns too! So I splurged more than I should have but I am an aspiring Bad Ass Knitter and well IT WAS ON SALE. I did show some restraint too. I can't say the same for the rest of the ladies there- the place was MOBBED.

It turns out there was no Silk Garden 84, so I put that idea on hold and got Anny Blatt Super Angora in a gorgeous pinky Monet Watercolors blend. I got it thinking Mittenettes, I now realize I was hopped up on finding Orange leaves during the walk over (they have special powers like brown mushrooms- who knew). I also got some Muget, not a good hand yarn but sparkly and when knit with something else it could be a great accent, though if it didn’t feel so plasticky it would be a great dense hat or the like. I went over to look at Phildar, I liked the Cashmere-Laine they have (Capuchin is a great color) but even on sale it was too much for me to risk it (it was 4 euros for 25g). After which I went to my favorite Bon Marché Lady. Marie, Marie is awesome. I ADORE her, completely. She is sweet smart and helpful.

I got the Noro Knits book. I am sure to make something from it at some point *cough* Butterfly *cough* And then I restrained myself as I almost got the Felted Tweed to make Elfin. Instead I got Kidsilk Classic to make Fern! I am obsessed with wrappy things! The yarn was only 40 euros! I like using only in there cause well 40 euros can go a long way... And then I left because if I didn’t I was going to fall into the deep dark abyss of overdraft charges.

Even more startling though I got Kid Classic in light pink! I am not a girly girl, I only recently began thinking skirts were ok. I spent all of my childhood, much to Mother’s chagrin being the best tomboy you could ask for. And my mother doing that whole it’s a girl she MUST want frilly PINK things for EVERYTHING... Let’s just say coming home from summer camp (at 10 years of age) to find my room painted pink, my curtains dyed pink, a mauve ceiling fan installed and pink canopy bed linens- all done without consulting me, I decided pink was NOT my color. I was however stuck with that room in it's status for 8 years.

However, as a kink of fate, I actually look good in pink, it would go with a fair amount of my clothes too. And I find Pink to be an ironic color... so we are attempting to break down the bias and incorporate it back into my life with moderation (not a topic my mother is familiar with). I had thought about red or orange, but Marie didn’t have any of those options and well I got the Pink saying don’t start the project and you can blog a poll on it. But really I don’t think I am going to take a poll. I think that the pink will do me good and I am going to stick with it. If I don’t like it I'll go get the divine Pumpkin Orange cashmerino aran I saw and wanted to abscond with. I also switched out a ball of baby cashmerino in Pink (didn’t touch it for Daydream) and got a pretty eggplant replacement.

But that brings me to my problem. I decided to pretend like I have a stash. I even took pictures. I have learned two things from this experience. One- I have LOTS of single balls of a yarn. What the hell does one do with one ball?? You call them a melange stash (it sounds more chic). And then I realized lots of them were in hand wound balls. Way back before I knew anything about knitting but my mother visiting went to the store with me, she shifted like she would buy a winder and a swift for me. I hadn’t a clue what they were so I just shrugged my shoulders and she bought alpaca yarn (that is in my storage unit) instead. Now I am wishing I had that winder, I like pretty wound balls (that sounds dirty, who am I kidding I am dirty). Anyways my stash it all fits in one of the small Bon Marché bags and once the last bits of Cecila and the Kidsilk are out of it well it’s a bag of remnants, but it's my stash and there it is.

Now as a result of a freezing computer and my inability to read (my dissertation deadlines- NOT when I thought they were; panic, Panic, PANIC) I have much less time than expected. Hence the blog sans pictures (can't resize them and can't upload em either, but hopefully next week). I am getting there but burning the candle at both ends in the mean time. Needless to say I am not knitting this week. After I make it through this week the foulness should go down a notch and I should be able to breathe. And thanks to Adele (who is so kind as to scan the English version of pretty wrappy top- which it sounds like the translations are a bit humorous) I am hoping to have a hack at this green pile of yarn, its a long weekend (that whole daylight savings time bullshit and a French holiday) so I have no excuse. It is getting cold enough that I want to wear it too. I wouldn't mind freeing up the needles either. Nor starting Fern, which in all fairness should not be started until I can at least get all the pieces of pretty wrappy top done.

So (in my best French Porky Pig voice, seriously the dubbing on that is HILARIOUS) Th-th-th-that’s all Folks!

Beeeeeeeeeeeeep

Yes that is the sound of the tecnhical gadgets confirming I am brain dead...

More accurately, I am brain dead in the computer lab on a Friday night. Don't say it I already know... I have no life. In my defense I went out to a bar last night (till 1am) to talk with my friend that hooked me up with the International Organisation job. We had fun, but also it was a mission- HOW do I GET this job chica?? And today I have been a good girl *pats self on the back for something she should have done ages ago* I got one more of the smaller sections for the Dissertation done, or mostly done. After working on it, let me tell you I want to tell the black/informal/grey/TIBUKU or whatever other name you want to give it, economic sector in both France and Italy to go suck my big black duck. They are complicating my analyses with the word limit I've got to the point of a veritable nightmare.

But it is break time, cause if I research any more things about labor market rigidities and employment regulations I am going to start getting nasty! And you can follow my foul mind without having to work too hard. So I am blog surfing, cause that is what us fake-productive people do.

What do I keep seeing, but mittenettes. Now it isn't cold here yet (the weather for the past two days has been GORGEOUS) but its gonna be and soon. And mittenettes sound like a good project to stick in the bag. They don't sound like they are going to set me back a wad of cash, they shouldn't take a lifetime. Oh yeah and the pattern is in ENGLISH (yes Pretty Wrappy Top is sitting in a pretty pile hogging up a chunk of my limited needle collection waiting for me to Thunk through it still). Combine this with the fact that on the way home last night I saw publicité in the Metro. The Bon Marche are having the TBM through tomorrow which means that there will prolly be yarn on sale... so I get to get out of the flat, take pictures of a Parisian Fall day and go to my LYS.

But what is all this muddled chatter about? Do I have a point? (well I don't have to if I don't want to as this is my blog... but I do! So There :P) The Bon Marche has Noro Silk Garden. Now I see the colors on everyones projects that I covet particularly Klaralund. And Claudia's Butterfly, but that is not Noro Yarn that is her yarn and how I want me some of it!!! But I digress. I am in deep abiding love with the Noro Silk Garden colorway 84. While I have touched it once and it didn't feel like divinity, however it's purty and I still want to give it a try.

See where I am going?? Smell the cookies right under the nose?? I was thinking Silk Garden in pretty color could be perfect for oh I don't know... Mittenettes. I figured this would be a one skein project, and that is about the limit of my Noro budget at Bon Marche prices. All in the knitting world aligns perfectly... *erm* well almost all.

Now comes the *real* brain dead part, I might be a chatty Cathy but I do circle back around at some point!!! The pattern calls for worsted weight yarn, gives no yardage and no gauge. That is ok it is a fly by the seat of your pants pattern; I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal! But I have forgotten my 5 minute fiber 101 course from beginning knitting. I can't remeber what gauge worsted yarn is supposed to be and I don't know what gauge or "type" of yarn Silk Garden is.

Sure I could go look that stuff up, but it wouldn't get me comments (and if I was being all serious graduate student I'd say I can't as when I am done with this post I will be going to revise what I just wrote and edit it some more- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA). Cause I am honest about things, it's because I am lazy and I am feeling like an attention attracting diva.

So does anyone know what weight of yarn Silk Garden is considered and want to leave a comment to a nice lonely gal such as myself??? Pretty please avec un cerise

Enough Whinging and Bitching On This Blog.

Here are the things I am grateful for:

Great knitting blogger buddies! You are all absolutely phenomenal. You have made me smile and warm me to the bottom of my knitting soul. And you know who you are, each and every one of you!!!

My credit union people- I am no longer the psychotic jumping off Pont Neuf lady. I am broke (builds a grad student's character right??) thanks to the fees but all is reinstituted with my account. Broke, check; psychotic, check; jumping off ¨Pont Neuf- not today :) Have you joined a credit union yet? SOOOO Worth it Y'All!!!

This blog for making me laugh my ass off. Go Stitchy Mc. Yarn Pants!

Ben and Jerry’s Icecream. I caved and treated myself to Oatmeal Cookie Dough. Divinity has been found! Cinnamon Icecream, Oatmeal Cookie Dough and bits of Chocolate (caramel would have been better), in the cold. Put a spring in my step.

Voting. I always thought it was a big deal, but being an “expat” in today’s world, my vote means that much more. Sitting down to read the pamphlet, looking up information on both sides and making my decisions; all make me feel like I am a citizen.

Marion Winik’s book Rules for the Unruly: Living an Unconventional Life. It is my bible.

French Macaroons- FUCK being broke, I am getting me a La Duree cookie today. I am worth it damnit!

Walking daily from the Pantheon to rue St. Michel and having a straight view of the Luxembourg Gardens and Eiffel Tower. Even better when I need a break at night and go to watch the Tower sparkle!

The very nice university security men who let me stay in the computer lab last night (waiting desperately for the email from my bank) well after it is supposed to shut. He said I could stay till they shut the building (5 hours later!).

I have hot water in the shower and water pressure. It's not perfect but infinitely better. The power of a pissed landlord, the power of a SHOWER!!

Jumping my own ass to accomplish some of the little things; like sending posties and my SP3 gift, damn I have been meaning to do that for a while!

For having knit this three years ago. I LOVE that scarf (pictures to come soon). It's pretty, I feel all fashionable wearing it, it is fuzzy softness incarnate and warm.

Music, I love dancing and bouncing around the apartment. No one is looking and I don’t care if they are. I am dancing because I cannot control my body around music, and I feel better having danced a bit.

I got my first Interweave Knits Mag ever from Jenanne today- you made my day for walking in the rain. I smiled when opening the post box

By the time I hit send on this post I will have finished the applications from hell and passed two deadlines. There may be more of em this month, but I am going to savour this evening before I think about tomorrow.

The Drama Queen Has Left The Building

Ok so first things first, I need to thank everyone for putting up with my tirade yesterday. I know I am not supposed to post but I was in a full blown pity party at Old Mac Donalds Farm yesterday (here a crap there a crap everywhere a crap! crap!). Life was out to get me and all that other kind of BS. And I couldn't let that rest. I am not a gracious host to pity parties nor do I intend to spend a day of my life as the victim.

It turns out I was making a bigger deal than necessary out of things for no reason. I self-resolved the whole thing by looking at the calendar. It was Wednesay not Thursday as my freaking the hell out brain was saying. I had some grace time, you know time to procr-ASS-tinate :) That took some of the pressure off for 2-3 seconds.

I also noticed that I was in the starting grasps of a full blown migrane, the kind that reduces me to mumbling incoherent playdough and gives Mt. St. Helens a run for her money. It had been so long since one had flown down the tarmac that I completely failed to notice the pilot circling the cabeza. I did however manage to catch it in time. I got me some milk (serious I get crabby with out the dairy) chugged that liter like a beer bong pro and popped 3 Aleeve. Chez Tink we do not mess with the migrane; we show it immediate R-E-S-P-E-C-T. We pop the drugs like we were a former gymnast that subsisted on vitamin I (I for Ibuprofen); wait I was :)

And by 11pm last night I was doing much better! I even finished one of those stupid competency things and confirmed some one would lie about me having interpersonal skills (besides the ones I employ to tell people off) and say "yes I knew her when she managed the president of Botswana. She saved the world from a great dust mite plague and knew about our religions too." One down other two started. This WILL get done by Friday. And then I saw the nice comments and well even though my bank stateside faked me out saying everything would be fixed and now saying no it's not and freaking me the FUCK out, I send my eternal gratitude and thanks to you all. Cause I smiled for one itsy bitsy moment.

And now for the lightning round of Q and A:
Anna:My dear thank you so much for the offer, but the flat has nothing besides my DVD player to watch on and well without internet access I was too late. I am going to go look up the spin and see if there is any live stream of it online.

Polly- Plumbers... I could have done with out French Plumber's Crack to be honest. I am sure this will all be a funny story about 6 months from now. But to answer the real question. No I haven't gotten the book yet, loans don't get here for a while. It is ketchup and pasta time :) I as always agree with you though. Learning in person would be better, but I gots to get this sweater off to munchkin before she grows out of it! it is the 6-12 mo size and she is already a hearty 2 mo. Life is sometimes suboptimal :)

Froggy: You warmed the itty bitty bottom of my heart right there. Knitty buds really are the best. They hear you bitch and say I want to send you cheer!! Email me your addy and it is postie time for you!!

Adele- Pretty Wrappy Top is a pattern from none other than Phildar Tendances Automne 2004-2005. My version (probably the reason the thing is not done yet, is in French. But I believe you can get them in English if you google it I am sure you will fid a vendor)

La: I am SOOOO glad my capacity and proclivity to speak my mind and do so like a sailor brings you back. Trust me much to my mother's prim chagrin it hasn't gone anywhere in the past 15+ years. As for a button look at the top of the left column take it be nice and do let me know where it is homed.

And with that I am back to trying to clean up the rest of the messes o' plenty in my life. I can bitch as long as I am trying to fix it right??

Disaster Piece Theater

I think the blog is going to be AWOL till next week. I promise knitting content then. I am not having a good day and it is grumping me out. So please ignore and continue on to the store, I need someone to get me the cheese to go with my Whines :)

There will be no internet access since my NOOS.fr (or as I call them PUTAIN.f****r) account is FUBAR (their fault, but won't fix) and I can't do a damn thing till they call me back. Which means I do not get to watch the debate tonight, nor can I use the internet to research at home or fix the posts that Blogger is MUNCHING. Sorry for the funked up post below; will try to fix it at some point.

How the hell did it get to be Thursday? I have an application due tomorrow, that whole manage a president one. I know I need do it to but right now I don't want to. I have to make up three stories that can be verified by people about my skills (problem solving etc...). They are around 1500-2000 words for each question. This shit is a pain in my ass; I HATE job hunting things. I don't use hate often so I really do mean it. I do NOT self market well. I only wrap myself up in bows for special people and then only under special circumstances.

After pitching all hell and yelling temper tantrums in the NOOS store, I made complete ass out of myself with my French Foreign Ministry contact. I am pretty sure he likes me as he personally called to confirm I would be going to the breakfast. So he could talk with me about the stagaire position. Only good thing from the call is that he gave me the right time, to be on time. WTF you want me there at 8:30 AM now. Let's all say a hearty Fuckity Fuck Fuck!! I was so aggitated from the whole trying to tell Noos *censor REALLY impolite phrase- feel free to look for it in the comments* to "fix" things my French was enough out of whack for him to say "Having difficulty with your French today?" GREAT everyone... this post requires me to speak the French. Yeah for great telephone impressions!

I have 3000 words left to write for the thesis, that were due yesterday (not really but you get the idea). Writing does not happen while you have your head in the sand. Anyone got a firm boot or pair of shit kickers on? I could use a whack at the ever expanding pinata (ie my ass) with em.

Sidenote- in that Amazon order I can't afford to buy with the Finishing Bible will be one or two DVDs. I only have 3 here and I am not allowed to watch Bridget Jones again for a while (let alone twice in a row, in one night). I love Colin Firth and I want my own Mr. Darcy NOW. Does not lift my spirits, in this time of cranky stress. Does teach me how to drink vodka.

The good things for today cause I can't leave it all piss and vinegar...

Kae is beyond doubt one of them. I lurve, love, loave you lots!! It made my day your help and email. You rock all da hizouzes (that promptly ends my rapping career)

My landlord was PISSED when he saw things and he made way to look like his tranquil self was going to go apeshit on the syndicat and plomberie people. He wants the leak fixed faster than I do. And he really is the sweetest extraordinary proprietaire. So there is hope I will get to shower again, in the future.

I got my absentee ballot *does happy dance* It made the non-essential goose chase on the Metro that Noos sent me on a bit more entertaining. And for the political science geek in me that was freaked I would not be able to vote (therefore not able to bitch- the horrors) I sent my ballot off today. Yeah my vote WILL be counted!!!

And in my "I am sure shit is worse than my life, do something nice for someone else you pity party pooper" mode; I picked up 5 post cards to randomly send to RAOK people.

Should anyone else reading this far and not be a part of RAOK want one leave a comment with your email and I will contact you for info to send one.

Take A Good Look

Cause *this* is the closest you are probably ever going to see me to SPEECHLESS.

Ok now that cognitive speech has been restored... brace yourself for link central. I am here to tell you I have been RAOK’ed with in one itsy bitsy centimetre of my life. Were all the nice things with school, even if they are putting a heaping on my plate enough? That echo you hear would be a resounding NO. When it rains it pours. It’s raining men- Hallelujah; no Tink… that’s not going to work. Can you tell I live up the street from a Karaoke bar?? I haven’t been singing at it but I have heard the Grease Compilation song played TWELVE TIMES IN A ROW (I counted) at TWO AM one “night” :)

So after joining RAOK on Saturday; I have gotten whammied with 5 RAOKing RAOKs! WOW!!!!

First was Jenanne who posted up that she had extra patterns to anyone wanted them. She had a copy of 2004 Summer Interweave Knit. Since I hadn’t seen Interweave Knits- I asked if she was willing to post to France. Yeah- I gots me an Interweave Knits right here buddy, in the mail!

Next right before bedtime was Polly. Hear ye Hear ye; All ye All ye. Get thy derriere straight to All Tangled Up and worship at the feet of Goddess Polly. Honto Pronto Tonto!! Polly not even in RAOK has RAOKed me with in an inch of my sweater. The divine wonderfulness she is has helped me crack the Rosetta Stone (well her and a nice rabbit). And because of that I can kinda proceed with Pretty Wrappy Top.

When I woke up Monday morning I had a funny card from KnitSteph- what better “good morning” wake-up call could I ask for. The sun was shining and I was walking through the Parisian streets (sometimes living here can numb you a bit, but not this morning!). It was perfect.

Next on the daily tour of my life, at jail erm… I mean the library … working away at getting my motors started… I checked my email and what did I find?? A gift certificate from Lisa Y to Adagio Teas!! So when Fall really does come (and she will shortly) a nice glass of yummy tea with a pastry and a knitting project in my lap at the café- that is soooo going to make my day.

As if that wasn’t enough- when I got home I looked in the post box. Not only were there no bills, but there was an Avis de Postage. My yarn from the SPECIAL STORE is here!!! The Special Store is amazing! They made a change to my order because I was a numbnut, got it out the door in record time. I picked it up on the way home and here it is. I have yarn today fondle people. Norma even made me giggle before I went to bed.

For Fondling Only

I woke up at god o hundred this morning and had my interview for a position with the French Foreign Ministry… and I don’t think I flubbed too bad. There were a few too many "um’s" and "donc’s" for my liking but what the hell do they expect from me that early in the morning :) It isn’t paid, which could pose a problem at some point. But for now… it could be a great experience and looks good on the CV. We’ll see what they think.

Then as I was waning - waking up early is hard yo! Waking up early for a grilling is harder. Going through the grilling in French, it’s exhausting. Tired or not, I went straight to work afterwards. That’s right me = efficiency central. Stop your snickering :) I managed to finish up the revisions and reorganizations I believe. However, at this point the only thing separating me from sleep was the thought of my head making a big thud on my laptop in the silent doctoral library. I checked emails to try and spike me up. What was there, but a beautiful card. Emma how’d you know I love Magnolias?