Fidgety Knitting

HOLD ME...

Please. Someone. Just. Hold me!!

This weekend is trying to kill me. Not in that obvious and overwhelming kind of way but in the all encompassing subtrifugal kind of way.

See I have become PARANOID. I know you all think that is no new news. But it is, I promise! Remember when I said that whole thing about getting the internet; well I went and on Saturday did something about that. I almost didn't and that was reason enough for me to be concerned... Let us remember that I am the Queen who puts the ASS in procrASStination. I had woken up and I opened the crap computer that has wireless... and I cribbed on the internet. I could barely pry myself from the internet to get out the door. But somehow I did and I went to the company I HATE .

It started innocently with me asking almost all the questions about the service the account and anything else I could think of. And then next thing I knew I was following the little white lines and said "OK why don't we install it next weekend?" OH GOOD DEAD DOG... what the hell have I gone and done.

Within 5 minutes of leaving the boutique I was hyperventilating and having more than second thoughts. The pit of my stomach was revolting. That might have been related to some of the butchers I walked past but that was only part of it. I am not sure I am dong the right thing. However I am sure it is only me who would be having such an existential crisis over joining the 21st century. Positive thought for the day: I have till Friday to cancel/continue hyperventilating about this all. After that I am strapped into a 1 year contract. NO pressure or anything...

I know that the reasons for doing this are valid. I have been staying late at work to use the internet and it has gotten old and tiresome. But at heart, I kind of like the enforced separation. Probably because I am not that sure I am capable of imposing restrictions on myself. Also because I like coming home and relaxing, that feeling of being deconnected is actually refreshing. It is balance enforced by external realities- cause Tink she not be good at the balance...

But I done gone and did it. I am installing the cable and internet. TV, not as scared about, though it is equally troubling. I hope that I will continue to watch French television (or English television dubbed into French as it may be) and not cop out watching only English shows or constantly watching it either. But I have proven to myself over the past two weeks that, while it feels odd, I can do without the TV (though it is probably easier with 6 v. 115 channels to find something on and this weekend has not been a good sign). I did however, get the digital box TIVO like thing (I believe, I left the states before TIVO became THE thing) to try and put an extra control on things.

The internet though... that scares me. Cause it is a VORTEX that I SWEAR SUCKS me in whole. Example: I was online cribbing in my flat till 3 am last night. Yes I woke up at 11 am that morning so that probably didn't help but still. I am well aware that I have sincerely weak will power against this contraption. And really I am not interested in my ass being owned by technology.

See told you... NEW NEWS! Any volunteers to HOLD ME??

Oh what you want the knitting... well I am not paranoid about it, I am only ADD with it. So yesterday I took Salina's back off the needles. I was a bit concerned about the armholes length because of the modifications that I am trying out. I need to research a bit more on the reshaping I am trying to do. I was going to start the front... but I couldn't find the yarn. I am sure it is in the flat, somewhere but I wasn't about to tip things upside down or anything. Instead I took this as a sign to start Jaywalker number too.

Sounds good... Only in doing that I fucked up. See I didn't have the pattern in front of me. Great start no?? But I knew the pattern. *OR SO I THOUGHT* Turns out I knew the pattern, but not the row order. So right after ther ribbing I went in and started with row two, no knit row buffer. Guess what?? That makes it pucker. PUCK.

Sure it isn't that obvious, and it can be fixed if I get over my perfectionistic tendancies and ignore it. (feel free to share your opinions) But PUCKING PUCKER. Wait- why am being all PG for a pun?? FUCK, FUCK, FUCK... That was 3 episodes of Dead Zone and half an episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit worth of knitting. It is a good 5 inches and close to the heel flap... That is time I am not going to have to make up this coming week. That is unless Yarn Harlot, Wendy or Lauren tell me their time warping secrets.

So as you may well guess in my tempermental and paranoid state I threw them literally across the room. I decided I was going to work on another project. So this morning I brought out my Shedir. What you don't know what I am talking about??? Well there was mon Amour only that one is frozen as I don't think I have enough yarn to finish it... But not to be disuaded I started another one. And then I realised that I have bunged up a cable. RIP version 2.1. Then at the start of the new year, I re-did the ribbing 3 times before I got it right. Luckily 3rd time is a charm.

Jaywalker will marinate. Shedir is front and center for now. We shall see what it looks like after the sit-on-my-ass-a-thon of Sunday afternoon. And really to go full circle, if I can do this WITHOUT technology imagine what is going to happen once I have it... ARGH.

Until the... SOMEONE...

HOLD ME...

Posted by Stinkerbell at February 5, 2006 08:48 PM | TrackBack