Fidgety Knitting

Salina

Salina and I spent some quality time together this weekend. As in all of the weekend, because I was pretty much a sloth. This grey weather and my life are not helping with my tendancies to want to become one with the futon/sofa/bed. Some kind of zen I tell you is going on, a zen that makes my ass hurt.

Things have been shit at work since my research based/events management work has turned into being someone's personal assistant (which isn't my thing nor the old school way he wants an assistant) with no choice in it for me except to feel incompetent. Excepting that giving up my job is considered a choice... And that combined with the disorganisation, lack of management skills added to the fact that he is new to the organisation... Being polite I'll say it is no fun. I get paid better than before but I have to say I prefer to have less money and be happy in my work than more money and be concerned about the shit that is on my plate now. And the weekend is my exit from that reality (and it stays that way until I can find another out). That and watching Porky Pig in French because serious that shit makes me laugh and not much else has for the past two weeks.

So me and Salina we escaped from all that. And after a productive Saturday am where I managed to get a load of laundry done AND sent packages from the Post Office (oh my god you all have NO IDEA about my ACHIEVEMENT with that one!) I came home and decided to ignore everything else. That includes Helen's Sweater (didn't find a yarn to seam with yet). Some one smack my head HARDif I haven't started on those sleeves by the end of the week!

But Salina, this is supposed to be about Salina. Oh yes, so what does the "I don't want to write the number of hours of weekend knitting while planted on your ass" produce?? Well it gets you through the waist of the front, the increases, the split of the front, and through the lapels of both sides after the split (along with a shit load of your pictures, mostly travel, loaded on Flickr).

Next up is some time facing up on how to short row the shoulders for Salina. This will be the first time and since I have to convert it from the step ladder pattern Rowan prefers it may take some time. And then being that I can make head or tails of it I will JUST DO IT Thank god for Lauren pointing me at these instructions, otherwise I would have no clue and completely have misunderstood the concept let alone the transfer of the pattern. Then again I might still misunderstand and miss the concept- wait and see! Maybe I will buy me something Nike once that part is done :) Goal is to have that done by next weekend. And then decide what I am going to do about the sleeves.

Ahhhh Salina how I love thee and the challenges of what looked like a simple sweater :)

Kim Hargreaves

WHY oh WHY must you do THIS to me....

Do you know how much I love your designs?? Really I DO. Rowan has pretty much withered in my estimation since you left. (We all KNOW there is no way in HELL you would have let a Magazine go out styled like Rowan 39- and we all know I was joking about that wearing kilts and crazy shit on your head being anything BUT a fashion FAUX PAS) I am also starting to get this much closer to well... buying one of the hated kits. I call them hated as I really would rather just have the pattern and use a different yarn. But no. You sell kits and ONLY kits. Kits I might mention that could use more in terms of colour or yarn choice and can carry a hefty price.

Even worse... I have a line up to get through people. . I HAVE to finish the itsy bitsies. Then and only then can I start to think of the Spring line up, which already is pretty full... Being that I have put Somewhat Cowl in as the first hitter, followed by close tie between Cutaway (which is kind of in the lead) and Lara... after which I can't decide if I should add this divine sweater or this one? Or just well impale myself on my needles.

It is evident I do not live in reality. It has only taken me 4 months to get close to finishing a CHUNKY knit sweater. Yet for the spring runway season (which with the Ides of March being in oh... 20 days- 20 days that are mostly commited to the bitsies (and not so bitsy- being Salina) that starts what??? NOW... here I am listing 5 sweaters I want to knit (I guess I am not mentioning finish or wear so that might help 1. take off some the pressure and 2. notch up the insanity.)

Sweet Jesus... like I need more things to make. I really should just stop looking but well, who doesn't like to watch a trainwreck when it is dressed so prettily?? So in short. Thanks... Now please for the love of all good yarns- sell your patterns or make a pattern book. THAT I will fork out money for with out thinking twice. 55 quid for a sweater... that makes me balk a bit- especially when I am under constraints on my choices. Unless of course you will finish the sweater for me and then I will give you my plastic for that price in a heartbeat!

Repeat After Me

That is right, repeat after me... They dont' look like complete and utter shit. Now repeat it again. They don't look like complete and utter shit. AGAIN.

So I have a motto in life. Actually it never used to be my motto until what I call the Great Crash of the Deck of Cards House that was at that time known as Tink. I was doubly, no actually tripply devestated by the HEINOUS break up with the NASTY EX, that whole graduate from college and trying to be a responsible adult was smacking my ass around the block a bunch, and well I had a built in trigger that was set off. I collapsed at that stage and TOTALLY AND FULLY CRACKED. I had never cracked before, so being a smart girl I went to get me some help and drugs. Actually let's be honest and change that order cause after a month of no sleeping, no eating, weighing in at 90lbs (which FREAKED the utter fuck out of me- and made sleeping hard because bony bits POKE and HURT) and having emotional outbursts for no goddamn reason... Really I wanted the drugs. But I also started talking to a very wonderful person who helped me through a lot of dark.

And that person told me: Fake it till you make it. Repeat it, live it and it will be. My competitive athelete perfectionist self (even while torn to utter shreds and having NO CONCEPT of up, down or light... all I knew was DARK) turned to him and said "have you been popping candy out of the sample drawer? The pharmasales lady gave those for you to give to me not to take yourself you know" I had the right guy cause he laughed. But you know what when you don't want it to be, and you have to move it forward... you fake it till you make it.

So on Tuesday night I sat my ass down. I said to myself... SELF you will get over this. Helen (that BITCH- I love you H but...) is going to the Cook Islands and New Zealand for a 2 week vacation. I am jealous beyond belief! However when she gets back with that tan and thinned blood- she is going back to England, in March- that isn't you know Bermuda. And she really deserves this sweater! So if I can get my shit together... She might be able to wear this sweater, THIS YEAR. And the cheery on the cake? You will get to stop feeling like Jimmy Jackhole for sitting on it this long.

So SELF... We are going to piecemeal this. Today: You ARE GOING TO SEAM THE SHOULDERS. And in that tone of voice with my new Bible (serious do not get this book first. It is a nice reference but the Bible- it is readable and useable!) I sat down and got to work. I tried a few different options- the crochet chain one Bonne Marie taught me (sorry love in chunky yarn- looked like shit). Ripped that out. Next up was backstitch. which also--- looked like lumped up shit even a monkey wouldn't throw around. Let's try this again (and not mutter about how much knitting on Salina could have been accomplished in that hour of seaming and unseaming what is effectively 7-9 mutherfucking stitches)

So it was time to buck up in the fake it till you make it world series. I pushed up my sleeves and decided that I was going to graft those shoulders together. And God I hope it is a good decision. cause it is the only "pretty" one and if it falls apart on Helen I will cry.

So after a few goes at it and getting thoroughly pissed at how I could make the straight to straight line up nice but that step ladder part... it hangs with the green donkey balls. I finished up and decided to put it to the public test before going any further.

So here is where you support my fake it till you make it mojo (within reason cause I am not sending anything to Helen that isn't divinity itself- GOT THAT, so be honest but ride along with my train :)

Go ahead and repeat after me... Those shoulder seams dont' look like complete and utter shit. Now repeat it again. They don't look like complete and utter shit. LOUDER- I can't hear you!!!

Cause if it doesn't look like shit I can dance in it and then try to figure out how to tackle the sleeves (after which it will be quick riding!)

The Bitch is Done

I present to you Shedir.

Pattern: Knitty Special Issue
Yarn: Pink Calmer- 1 ball
Needles: 3.5mm circs and 3.25 dpns
Time: Jan. 2, 2006- February 17, 2006

Notes:
Well for the love all that is good and holy through determination and steel will I have finished it... and it feels too long when on! So I am thinking as much as I love pink in its irony... I may just give this away. My initial intention was to do just that. This hat was supposed to be a Cancer Hat for someone who needed some love. Then the hat went and got all feisty with me. So I got belligerent right back. Only now... I think I would rather fix up the red one's size and send this one off to someone who will love it and hug it and call it George. If anyone knows of a newly diagnosed cancer patient, that could use a nice and pretty hat- please drop me a line.

For me I will be grateful for now that the cables are over and that this hat for all its pains (Some of which are my own fault for my penchance and persistance on finishing up the bitsies around the flat before I can start another project) did teach me how to drop down a few rows the cables and fix them. I learned I can do fluent and Saxon (not to mention Gaelic) Curse and all is good with that. I do think the going down to dpns made parts of the star a bit loose but over all I think it looks mighty nice.

Anyways that is two down and well I have started the front of Salina. And if I can get my act together tonight I am going to try and do some seaming on Helen's Sweater! If I work steadily I will hopefully stand a chance of finishing right as the yarns to test out for the Somewhat Cowl show up on my doorstep :)

Mama Mao

You know I am of the firm belief that The Chairmama Mao deserves her own post. One all to herself. She is my mother, and don't get me wrong- I LOVE HER. And that love is a special bond (she is mine to kill :) So before anyone bashes me- I know damn well that she had the best of intentions... I am laughing. But it just seems fair to say that some Pavlov training is in order.

Since Christmas, when in my desperation I realised that the lady who owns everything would have to be given a gift in person, and told her I would knit things... Mama Mao has gone a bit out of control. I am right now doing damage control and a constructing a list for the reconstructive training. Because I am quite sure there is a monster of sorts on my hands.

So in short I have a monster on my hands. One who has technology at her disposal.

Yes so when I mentioned technology- that is because it is a direct result of ebay that I have this post fodder. Really if I could put parental controls on her there or at least some kind of approval system all would be good. But instead she is left to her own devices. And that is where the frightening part starts.

The rest of this post will necessitate you bringing out the pissing tarp becasue I will not be held responsible for anything that happens to your sofa, chair, floor, etc due to fear or hysterics that may follow. Go on find one... I'll wait. Ok you back? Good.

I would like to introduce you to the "vintage" patterns Mama Mao had sent to me. These came from some Ebay lady in the UK, who I am quite sure does not have all her marbles about her. In all kindness she would have to walk around with an empty Happy Meal box to sell these jewels. My mother on the other hand needs to start searching Ebay to find herself a Happy Meal box because she... she fucking paid for this shit.

Let's do a photo essay for fun! Sound good- read on!

So first of all- let us talk about knitting in style! This might possibly be the best book on knitting ever! I can't thank Mama Mao enough for getting it for me. My life is now complete. Because really this is the kind of style I am TRYING SOOOOO HARD TO EXUDE when I knit things for myself or anyone else, make that especially Mama Mao:)

It really really really is helpful. I can not emphasise the usefulness of this book enough. It is above and beyond measure to my new knitting bible. Because I think the thing lacking in my knitting is lessons in the use of COLOR.

And more importantly how to effectively use it, TO BLIND SOMEONE... who needs death by knitting needles when you can die via colors?? This is essential for my criminal intentions. Just what I'll need one day to throw the cops off my trail, as needles would be too obvious.

I am also aware thanks to her continuing ever so subtle hints (like I am getting older now and need to think about these things so I won't die old and alone... to which I childishly retort she is SIXTY) that she wants me to be married one day. And that day would preferably be SOON and then followed by me pumping out grand children for her. But I am sure she wants this so that I and that "lucky" other half can wear matching handmade knits whilst looking depressed in that loving love bird married style. Where is that photo of her and Dad looking like this??? This photo is what REAL love is about. Or so I am guessing... I don't think I have known that kind of love. And in a move that may depress Mama Mao- I am not sure I ever want to know THAT kind of love.

Sorry for a momentary break here. We will talk again after I come back from my teenage year flashbacks with bobby sox, keds and those off the shoulder sweaters.... you know the flashbacks that make me wonder whether acid was included in that package. Nice touch if so... if not Mama Mao best be prepared to fork up for my therapy bills.

And so that I can actually reduce her fears and anxiety attacks- should the need or occasion arise where Mama Mao must look like Crystal Carrington or Alexis Colby... I will be her Dynasty look alike GO-TO Girl. If we are going to go for the Falcon Crest look though- I think another book will be needed. As that style is a bit different.

Not only do I get lessons in colours but also for cables... this book is a TREASURE TROVE. And have I learned an important lesson thanks to Knitting in Style! I never knew knitting was so dangerous. But it is! If one is not careful with their knits... the sweater could eat the wearers head! Alive!

But in what is a fashion lesson that I will NEVER forget, this book has confirmed for me that wearing a kilt on your head is NOT a fashion FAUX PAS. It can be stylish too! THANK the good dead gods (for they are the only ones who would propose this pattern) for that. Maybe I can impress the Scotsmen with that look- I am sure they would be much more impressesd with that than a kilt worn normally with nothing on underneath! And I wouldn't be wind blown.

Should anyone for any reason ever try to deny that we were raised in Arizona, I can take them down... I now have a knit pattern to prove that the Aztecs made dresses too. And people are supposed to wear them. I mean it is the fashion to knit yourself a dress!

I think... in special terms this sweater with its FLAPPER style in silouhette- should be Mama Mao's birthday present. It will outline all her... best assets?? With that feminine touch. And nothing says HAPPY 60th!!! Quite like a sweater that makes you look like you are ready for the Munchkin/Oompa Loompa NFL Draft as a Linebacker :)

And for myself... I think that this is perfect. As the one who had her self cut open to bring me into the world Mama Mao knows my desires and needs better than myself (except for that asswiping shit- that ended with the diapers damnit!). Now thanks to Mama Mao, I can make myself a sweater that has a tree over my left boob. This goes very well with my Amazon construction. Cause after I cut off the right boob for my bow and arrow, I have been looking for ways to be able to emphasise the left one for when I go out on the pull to the bar.

In all fairness I will give you this following ONE that didnt make me want to hurl myself under a rock until the baby jesus stopped talking to me about how neon in the 80s was... SOOOO cool. I have also sent a letter to The Chairmama telling her that while I am ever so appreciative (and glad she could piss herself over the images above- her fault she didn't listen and get the tarp, there went her suede sofa!) She should not feel obliged to EVER order from that vendor again. Furthermore I gave her a list of Designers, Patterns and Yarns that were acceptable if she wanted to engage in more Ebay activity.

She responded by saying that she was astounded at my lack of compassion. I told her this was just one of the reasons that I go reeling around when someone tries to call me a compassionate conservative. I will also only tell her I love her again once she calls me a Pinkie Commie Bastard. She gets to have me in pink... so I think she should just suck it the fuck up. Furthermore... she has informed me that I have one more set of patterns on the way...

OH SWEET JESUS- she is trying to orchestrate a come to jesus moment. Only I am not religious, I will not be singing Halleluja and I am more likely to harangue the baby jesus about the atrocities against man kind.

Anyways... Hope this has entertained you as much as some of those patterns TERRIFIED me. And note that the first person who calls the 80s vintage or like in grad school shows me posters for "Early 90's" parties. They be getting bitchslapped like shiva with all arms wound up at once.

Screeeeeeeeeech

Introducing... The PUCK UP Socks

And here is where I plan on wearing them!

Yes so the Jaywalkers... we have had quite the relationship recently . I left it to the last second like the assinine procrastinator I am so you know I was thumbing for it. And by deserving it, I mean thank the gods for timezone differences otherwise I'd be out in the cold. Please forgive the lack of photos cause really, I am tired. It is almost 2am and I have to go to work in 6 hours. I am insane... I know- all this for yarn I won't win. God help me!

First I got thorugh the heel and gusset only to realise there was a one stitch fuck up all the way back up the leg. So unknit I did.

After that I go through the gusset and was working on the foot and noticed... well now one of these socks looks longer than the other. I will be at one and Zen with the fucking socks! Cause otherwise there is no way I am finishing these. And if I don't finish them by the deadline I might just give them up!

So the Jaywalkers, and the contest have tested my patience and perfectionist tendancies. I am calling them PUCK UP for all the screw ups I have made over them on sock #2. (one of which I admit I may just go back and fix)

Maybe I will knit another pair... but for a knumbknuckle like slappy over here, it ain't going to be till a while off I am guessing. Shedir is next to be flung around and talked to dirty.

Sophie de Grouch will be content with this pair! Everyone have a nice and happy Vday card on me ;)

Blog Olympics

I know that there is this big Olympic thing but I am in a different frame of mind. I decided against joining, as I don’t really have a true challenge for myself. Or at least not something I feel is a challenge. I just have a goal, a goal that has its reward at the end of the tunnel/month.

My mission that I have chosen to take… well for the rest of this month I would like to finish up a bunch of things that have been cluttering up my knitting karma. Yeah I am a granola, crunchy, feng shui, enraged Buddhist (god I love Rock Chick for that one!) kind of gal. And to me focusing and actually finishing aren’t so much of an Olympic challenge as just some will and determination. But in the spirit of things I am trying to cleanse the knitting. Not clean or launder, but clear it out.

I have the following list to clear out to make way for the good karma

First in the line up we have the Jaywalker's: Let’s see if I can make the contest deadline. If I do… it might just be the first post with the internet in the flat (that is unless I go bollocks starkers and cancel it all. I don’t preclude that- see blogging with suspense! Will she or won’t she loose it? Your guess is probably spot on). But for the record there has been no change since the last known photo.

Next in the priority list is a gift I am knitting. I haven’t said anything about them yet, but I don’t think the intended recipient will guess they are for her here is the picture and into the line up they go. This is the manifest destiny of some sale yarn, my own fudged around “pattern” of 3x3 rib mittenettes. That is Phildar Cash-Laine and for those curious about how I got it on sale… that is because they are discontinuing the yarn. My opinions on the yarn when the project is done These were started and have been worked on during movie nights. So this mittenette has a very cultured background having most recently watched Viva Zapatero (and maybe will go with me to see Munich this weekend too).

After that well even though I speak of her in the forked tongue… It is Shedir. Little projects must be finished! And I am determined. I will wear this pink hat in all its glorious irony. Because pink is an ironic colour and I will be fucking damned and hammed if I am going to let some silly hat smack my ass around. I will finish this hat and I will wear it and that will be the end of it. Even if it kills me (thankfully I do like Calmer), or more likely I fling it into a wall repeatedly trying to “kill” it.

One more thing to clear out of the “you don’t know about me” closet this month… a mate to this sock. I got the yarn and while I like it, I think that I know someone with a birthday coming up that would go for the crazy colours. So I will stick it on the needles (of for the love of the plain and simple stockinette sock!) right after Jaywalkers come off. I do actually plan on trying to make the stripes line up a bit. Laugh at your own peril, when I start that part.

The next project to finish… it is Helen’s sweater it sits there languishing as I have a palpable fear of making the sleeves look bad. I want her to love it and hug it and call it George. I want it to be a big warm cozy hug. And I don’t want anyone to walk up to her and say… did someone make that?? But the seaming with bulky yarns… not my forte. Any and all tips accepted. Will pay for it to be finished :)

Last but most certainly not least will be to try and get things going together and knit up for Salina (which is a bit longer than in this image). Having just received the goddess of all knitting bibles (yeah serious get this one first and then talk to this person…) I should be able at some stage to put the sucker together. Lauren has already put on the pressure. But lovely soul she is, she has also pointed me to learning a new trick. I am going to short row the shoulders people. Hold on to your seats!

*Should I be going for REAL bonus points… I would include finishing the collar for the saga now known as Pretty Wrappy Top, and seam up Fern (why every time I call that sweater Fern, its Rowan given name, do I immediately feel like I belong in the midst of Charlotte’s Web and want to scream Wilbur… ok its because as we have well established I have issues. I’ll go find the happy pills now) but I wouldn’t want to be any more ridiculous than I already am.*

My reward you might ask after you look at that staggering display I just created for flourishing in failure (alliteration how I love thee- said the drama queen)… well it is this. I have lusted for it for a while but been lazy about it. No more, cause I saw Heather wearing her's and my lust creeped up through my soul and took hold of the controls. It induced my motor skills into retracting the check card from its protective wallet and typed in the numbers so that I could own that pattern. And now I do!

So the reward for finishing things is staggered. First once the Jaywalkers, mittenettes and Shedir are done I can get a skein of two yarns to try out for this pattern. I am thinking I would like to see what Blue Sky Alpaca and Silk is like and since I am this close to wanting to morph into Heather I want to try out the Silky Wool too (in Moss, cause green is MY colour and I am a copy cat). And after I test them I will get color cards (at this stage), but I will NOT- I repeat NOT buy yet. I have vague recollections of touching these yarns when I was in the US… I didn’t have a true action plan so I forgot to bring some home to join the one ball band parade that is clanging around my flat.

And then once Helen’s Sweater and Salina are finished then and ONLY THEN (please help hold me accountable people!) can I start in on The Somewhat Cowl (the sweaters are lined up for the rest of the season- batting after the somewhat cowl will be Bonne Marie Chicknit’s Cutaway and taking us all the way home will be Lara- after then and only after then may we begin discussion on knitting for any other season). Which since there is no finishing… if all goes well would be ready to wear come spring!

So bring it on February!

On the Look Out…

I promised pictures... Here are pictures.

So here is where we are with Shedir…

You might say that for a sit-on-your-ass-a-thon that doesn’t look like a lot of work accomplished. I will forgive you for thinking or saying that, as I am a benevolent dictator and gentle soul (until you start laughing back there in the corner… and then I will start speaking in the mother tongue to you, the forked one, the language of CURSE). I will also point out that doing lots of cables (I am still in the “with my cable needle please” camp, but I may try out the Grumperina or Almost Felted tutorials on this at some point) it goes slower.

But despite that impediment, I will have you know though that it is double the work that it looks like. Anyone care to hazard a guess as to why that is?? Why yes… though you needn’t look at me cross eyed like that, it is because I knit, unknit, reknit, unknit again and then reknit the little bastard. I was quite pleased with myself and that crater like indentation I created in the futon/sofa/bed. I had finished through the fourth repeat of the saxon braid… and then the decreases would come.

Imperative there is the would… imperative as I noticed this. Yes people I flubbed it up. And it was noticeable. So while some may take their knitting off the needles and rip, I do not have that kind of steely constitution. You might question that statement given all that my constitution has put up with from French Bureaucracy… but really it is only steel plated. So I unknit it, I tinked it. Hardy har har… Tink tinked herself… see I have a sense of humour. Look for it cause I am going to need you all to tell me where to find it here shortly.

Why… because last night when after a nasty day at work (wherein a nice man I work with turned himself into a condescending French ASSHAT with such aplomb that I promptly started assaulting my keyboard with VERY LOUD delete button hitting) I came home and saw another fuck up… am I ever intended to wear a Shedir. I swear I didn’t have these kinds of problems with the one in Amour… Ok so I unknit the 3 rows I had just reknit from the last unknit round of things. I finished the last repeat of that cable repeat and I put the sucker down.

I am stopping right there and going to be sticking to the Jaywalker for the rest of the week.

HOLD ME...

Please. Someone. Just. Hold me!!

This weekend is trying to kill me. Not in that obvious and overwhelming kind of way but in the all encompassing subtrifugal kind of way.

See I have become PARANOID. I know you all think that is no new news. But it is, I promise! Remember when I said that whole thing about getting the internet; well I went and on Saturday did something about that. I almost didn't and that was reason enough for me to be concerned... Let us remember that I am the Queen who puts the ASS in procrASStination. I had woken up and I opened the crap computer that has wireless... and I cribbed on the internet. I could barely pry myself from the internet to get out the door. But somehow I did and I went to the company I HATE .

It started innocently with me asking almost all the questions about the service the account and anything else I could think of. And then next thing I knew I was following the little white lines and said "OK why don't we install it next weekend?" OH GOOD DEAD DOG... what the hell have I gone and done.

Within 5 minutes of leaving the boutique I was hyperventilating and having more than second thoughts. The pit of my stomach was revolting. That might have been related to some of the butchers I walked past but that was only part of it. I am not sure I am dong the right thing. However I am sure it is only me who would be having such an existential crisis over joining the 21st century. Positive thought for the day: I have till Friday to cancel/continue hyperventilating about this all. After that I am strapped into a 1 year contract. NO pressure or anything...

I know that the reasons for doing this are valid. I have been staying late at work to use the internet and it has gotten old and tiresome. But at heart, I kind of like the enforced separation. Probably because I am not that sure I am capable of imposing restrictions on myself. Also because I like coming home and relaxing, that feeling of being deconnected is actually refreshing. It is balance enforced by external realities- cause Tink she not be good at the balance...

But I done gone and did it. I am installing the cable and internet. TV, not as scared about, though it is equally troubling. I hope that I will continue to watch French television (or English television dubbed into French as it may be) and not cop out watching only English shows or constantly watching it either. But I have proven to myself over the past two weeks that, while it feels odd, I can do without the TV (though it is probably easier with 6 v. 115 channels to find something on and this weekend has not been a good sign). I did however, get the digital box TIVO like thing (I believe, I left the states before TIVO became THE thing) to try and put an extra control on things.

The internet though... that scares me. Cause it is a VORTEX that I SWEAR SUCKS me in whole. Example: I was online cribbing in my flat till 3 am last night. Yes I woke up at 11 am that morning so that probably didn't help but still. I am well aware that I have sincerely weak will power against this contraption. And really I am not interested in my ass being owned by technology.

See told you... NEW NEWS! Any volunteers to HOLD ME??

Oh what you want the knitting... well I am not paranoid about it, I am only ADD with it. So yesterday I took Salina's back off the needles. I was a bit concerned about the armholes length because of the modifications that I am trying out. I need to research a bit more on the reshaping I am trying to do. I was going to start the front... but I couldn't find the yarn. I am sure it is in the flat, somewhere but I wasn't about to tip things upside down or anything. Instead I took this as a sign to start Jaywalker number too.

Sounds good... Only in doing that I fucked up. See I didn't have the pattern in front of me. Great start no?? But I knew the pattern. *OR SO I THOUGHT* Turns out I knew the pattern, but not the row order. So right after ther ribbing I went in and started with row two, no knit row buffer. Guess what?? That makes it pucker. PUCK.

Sure it isn't that obvious, and it can be fixed if I get over my perfectionistic tendancies and ignore it. (feel free to share your opinions) But PUCKING PUCKER. Wait- why am being all PG for a pun?? FUCK, FUCK, FUCK... That was 3 episodes of Dead Zone and half an episode of Law and Order Special Victims Unit worth of knitting. It is a good 5 inches and close to the heel flap... That is time I am not going to have to make up this coming week. That is unless Yarn Harlot, Wendy or Lauren tell me their time warping secrets.

So as you may well guess in my tempermental and paranoid state I threw them literally across the room. I decided I was going to work on another project. So this morning I brought out my Shedir. What you don't know what I am talking about??? Well there was mon Amour only that one is frozen as I don't think I have enough yarn to finish it... But not to be disuaded I started another one. And then I realised that I have bunged up a cable. RIP version 2.1. Then at the start of the new year, I re-did the ribbing 3 times before I got it right. Luckily 3rd time is a charm.

Jaywalker will marinate. Shedir is front and center for now. We shall see what it looks like after the sit-on-my-ass-a-thon of Sunday afternoon. And really to go full circle, if I can do this WITHOUT technology imagine what is going to happen once I have it... ARGH.

Until the... SOMEONE...

HOLD ME...

Welcome To Tinkland

I think Bonne Marie might just have it right... only I don't know which nation I am a part of so... I am the Nation of Me. Tinkland. That is right not a -stan, just the land :)

Anyways to the socks... My knitting ADD has made me a bit itchy and the feeling of so many projects in the run makes the responsible one in me feel guilty. So I shout FOCUS TINK FOCUS. And Hocus Pocus some magic appears (Note Tinkland has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING NADA ZIP ZILCH NIENTE RIEN to do with that OTHER land or its Magical Kingdom... I'll have you know: this is aint no kingdom and it aint no democracy- this is the United States of Tink. I'm the president, I'm the emperess, I'm the queen. I'm Michael Jackson, you Tito. Your ass belongs to me. And yes that is a bastardized quote what of it??).

I hit it and I hit it hard. YEAH ME!! I went home Tuesday night and I made sure that I ignored Salina (need to research up a bit more on short row shoulder shaping for the 3 needle bind off "seaming" of a shoulder. Trust me the less finishing the better the chance this blog will see me in another knit sweater!). Instead I cast on for the second Jaywalker and I finished up the ribbing.

And today after an utterly hellish week and another one like it facing me next week (MAN I better get my money out o' this weekend) I am going to finish up a work letter and go home. If I don't collapse I will probably watch some TV (which I really havent done much of in a long time!) or a DVD (MUST get some more new ones, and TV show ones cause I am just watching Father Ted over, and Over and OVER and really I am going to start saying FECK or ARSE at inappropriate times if I don't get a grip on this soon :) and then I will try to work some on the leg of Jaywalker the pair. If I manage to get out of the flat on Sunday, I might even be able to get all the prep for a Barelona post done and up next week... :)

I am nothing if not behind so here goes too. I'm no Cara, and I really want to get a better point and shoot than what I got, but here is a flower for the week. And since I am WAY THE HECK behind on the ABC along that I wanted to try and do... consider this A- for Amarylls one of my favorite flowers to get at the market. We will have B and hopefully C next week :)

Have a Lovely Weekend!